How do I make friends as an adult?

Why it got hard

Sociologists point at three ingredients friendship needs: proximity, repetition and a setting where people let their guard down. School gave you all three for free. Adult life removes them one by one. Rebuild the three on purpose and friendship comes back.

Recurring beats big

One recurring thing is worth ten one-off events. A weekly run club, a class, a rec league, a volunteer shift, a standing table at trivia. Go every week for six weeks. Familiar faces turn into people you nod at, then people you talk to, then people you text.

Go to the second location

Friendships are made at the coffee after the class, the bar after the game, the walk to the train. When someone floats it, say yes. When nobody does, you float it.

Say the thing

"We should grab a drink sometime" is where most adult friendships die. Replace it with a day: "Thursday after this?" Most people are relieved someone else asked. Loneliness is common enough now that the person across from you is probably hoping you will.

Misd: the people you already pass

Here's what Misd adds. You already cross paths with the people you'd like to know: the same gym, the same coffee line, the same Sunday market. Moments® records when you and another Misd user were at the same place at the same time, so those people become people you can actually message. Buzz shows you what the people around you are up to, and Clout, the local leaderboard, gives you a reason to keep showing up.

Misd was built for exactly this: the world is getting less social one generation at a time, and the fix isn't another feed. It's finding the people who are already around you. Invite-only right now, iOS today, Android coming. Get a code and bring one friend; it works better with two.

Questions people ask

Is it normal to feel this lonely as an adult?

Yes. Surveys across the US and Europe put a third to a half of adults in the 'often lonely' range. It's a design problem more than a personal one.

How long until I have real friends in a new routine?

Research on friendship formation suggests roughly fifty hours together to become friends and a couple hundred to become close. Weekly recurring things get you there fastest.

Who is Misd for?

Anyone looking to meet someone. Friends are the most common reason and Misd is open to all of them.

Is there an app for making friends as an adult?

Misd is built for it. Instead of matching strangers by profile, it shows you the people you already cross paths with, at the same gym, coffee line or market, so the friendship starts from a place you both go. Invite-only, iOS today, Android coming.